I am a product of my past. In the formative years, much happened which, at the time, I just took for granted as "normal" experiences. But they weren't normal by most measures and only now do I understand that. My way unfolds before me and with each misaction I perform do I see what others have seen of me for so long: I've been shaped differently. For the better part of the last 2 decades, I've been searching for answers from the preceding 3 decades to try to piece together who I was and who I was supposed to be. During that segment of my journey I've made quite a few mistakes which distorted my views. Recently, I've discovered that it's not worth it to ponder so deeply within your past only to lose sight of your way in the present. That I've been asking the wrong question in wondering, "Who am I?" and instead I should have been asking, "Who do I want to be?"
I am Catholic by birthright and, for the majority of my life, by practice and belief. I have often veered to the side of the Christian path only to have those detours converge paths with my Faith again. Presently, I have taken another one of those detours.
I've many layers and each one shows a different side to me. Peel them all and I believe what remains is a simple truth: I don't need much to live and love my family dearly. I was once proud to carry the soul that I had because it was giving, compassionate, warm and unconditional in its love. So much has happened that this soul has contorted through pain, forged into unrecognizable form against the anvil of time, suffering and searching. It's taking its original shape again, each contortion wrapping back to what it once was.
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